Building Relationships
Why it matters
The teacher who knows you is the one who emails you when the summer program opens. Networking is meeting a lot of people. Relationships are what happens when you keep showing up. They're the friend who saves you the notes, the teacher whose recommendation letter actually says something, and the vice principal who takes your proposal seriously because she's known you since freshman year.
When you want to change something at school, relationships are the difference between "who is this kid?" and "let's hear her out." Nobody changes a policy for a stranger who shows up angry. People go to bat for someone they trust.
Why it pays off
Most opportunities come through people who already know you: jobs, internships, invites, second chances. Strong relationships also make hard things easier. It's a lot less scary to tell a teacher their class is stressing everyone out when they already know you're on their side.
Talk about your relationship-building in your resume
Student Advocate Sept. 2023 - Present
Started a monthly student-teacher lunch on how school is going, where the first draft of the new hall-pass rule was written.
Doorstop Fellow Sept. 2023 - Present
Met with the assistant principal after every student council meeting for a year, leading to an invitation to join the committee rewriting the dress code.
Build stronger relationships
Show up consistently. Go to the same teacher's office hours every couple of weeks, even with small questions. Trust is built in reps, not one big conversation.
Remember the details. Ask how the marathon went. Ask about the dog. People notice when you listened.
Give before you ask. Before you ask the librarian to host your club, spend a free period helping her set up the book fair.
Repair fast. If you snapped at someone or dropped the ball, apologize specifically: "I'm sorry I interrupted you in class yesterday."
Bring people in. Invite the new kid to your group project. Introduce two people who should know each other.
Not every adult will be your fan, and that's fine. Stay respectful and focus on finding allies who are.
Relationships grow through small asks. When someone says yes to something small, they trust you a little more next time.