Start a peer mentoring program.

You'll run most of it, but you'll need a staff advisor.

What works best?

• Meet every week, for the whole school year. National standards call for weekly meetings and a one-year commitment. Peer programs that work meet for 40 minutes to an hour, and the peer guidelines call for at least ten meetings, since schedules and testing eat the start and end of the year. MENTOR, Peer Mentoring Supplement, 2020; Herrera et al., 2008
• Mentors at least two grades older. The peer guidelines call a two-year gap one of the most important parts of the design: close enough to relate, far enough to have been through it. MENTOR, Peer Mentoring Supplement, 2020
• Showing up matters more than anything a mentor says. In a randomized study of high school mentors, younger students gained the most when their mentors came every time. When mentors missed meetings, the younger students' self-esteem and behavior got worse. Karcher, 2005
• Relationship first, with a plan for every meeting. Mentors who listened, let students help choose activities and kept it fun built lasting relationships. Most mentors who pushed their own agenda saw their matches fall apart. Teen mentors also need a planned activity, or meetings stall. Morrow & Styles, 1995 (adult mentors); MENTOR, 2020
• Teen mentors need an adult behind them. In a study of Big Brothers Big Sisters' high school mentors, students did better on five outcomes when their mentors talked with staff often, and mentors with two or more hours of training built closer relationships. Without that support, high school mentors helped much less than adults. Herrera et al., 2008
• What it can do. In a randomized trial of Peer Group Connection at one high school, where pairs of seniors led weekly freshman groups, 81% of boys graduated on time, against 63% without it. Girls saw no change. A larger trial in rural North Carolina found no change in attendance or credits, but students felt more attached to school. It's a good bet, not a guarantee. Johnson, Simon & Mun, 2014; Jenner et al., 2023
• Why freshman year. In Chicago, freshmen who ended ninth grade on track (enough credits, no more than one F in a core class) were 3.5 times as likely to graduate in four years. Allensworth & Easton, UChicago Consortium, 2005

Who mentors whom?

This is the grade match. The matcher in step 6 follows it.

Pairs, trios or crews?

When do they meet?

Who runs it day to day?

This decides who mentors go to for trainings, questions and the monthly check-in. Anything serious always goes to the advisor.

Starting small is fine. A first year with 20 pairs that meet every week beats 200 that fizzle by November.

A The poster

Fill it in and download it. Paste your application link, and the QR code makes itself. Print it, or post it in the grade group chats.

School When they meet Apply by Application link Questions go to Room

Download PNG Download PDF

Hang it by the junior and senior lockers and in the cafeteria, and post it in the grade group chats. Ask teachers to name students they trust, too: a teacher saying "you'd be great at this" brings in quiet, steady students who wouldn't apply on their own.

B The application

Keep it short. Recruit in the spring so you can train mentors before school starts. The lunch period and interests questions feed the matcher.

Make a copy of the Google Form

C Who to pick

• Not only top students. High achievers are often overscheduled, and struggling freshmen may not see themselves in them. Look for the students others go to, including some who aren't the usual leaders.
• Reliable over impressive. Ask a teacher whether they show up. A mentor who misses meetings can leave a mentee worse off than no mentor.
• Juniors where you can. Seniors leave, and second semester gets busy. In one study, 10% of senior mentors kept their match into a second year, against 49% of younger mentors.
• Recruit boys on purpose. About four in five high school mentors in that study were girls, and boys gained the most from Peer Group Connection.
• Hours or credit only after the full year. Seniors who got course credit were three times as likely to quit by January (19% against 6%). Give hours, credit or a recommendation letter at the end, based on attendance.
• A five-minute interview with you and your advisor. Ask: "A younger student comes to you upset after failing a test. What do you do?"

Sources: MENTOR, Peer Mentoring Supplement, 2020; Herrera et al., 2008. Need the hours signed off? See community service hours.

Plan about an hour of training before anyone meets a mentee, plus a monthly check-in.

The training

Peer mentor trainingOpen it → Six parts, about an hour, one screen at a time. Run it on a projector, or send mentors through it first.

1. 1The role
2. 2Show up
3. 3Listen, with a practice conversation
4. 4Keep things private, within limits
5. 5Boundaries
6. 6The goodbye

Sources: MENTOR, Peer Mentoring Supplement, 2020; Herrera et al., 2008.

A Scenarios to practice

Read one aloud, have pairs act it out, then discuss what the mentor should do.

• "I'm failing biology and my parents are going to kill me."Don't fix it for them. Ask what's going on in the class, then help them plan what to say to the teacher, and practice it.
• "Some kids in my grade keep posting stuff about me."Listen first. Ask whether they're safe and whether it's ongoing. Ongoing bullying goes to your advisor; tell your mentee you're doing it.
• "Can you promise not to tell anyone what I'm about to say?"Don't promise. Say: "I'll keep it between us unless someone could get hurt. Then I'd have to get an adult involved, and I'd tell you first."
• Your mentee hasn't shown up for two weeks.Message them through the program's channel, then tell your club leader or advisor. Missed meetings are the first sign a match is in trouble.
• "Sometimes I don't see the point of anything."Take it seriously. Stay with them, and get your advisor or a counselor the same day. You don't have to know what to say. You have to get an adult.
• Your mentee asks you to do their essay "just this once."Say no, and offer to sit with them while they start it. Doing their work isn't help, and it can get you both in trouble.

B The mentor agreement

Mentor agreement — print one per mentor

Mentor agreement — [school name] peer mentoring As a mentor, I will: 1. Show up to every meeting (once a week) for the whole school year, and tell [advisor's name] ahead of time if I can't. 2. Go to the monthly mentor check-in with [advisor's name]. 3. Keep what my mentee tells me private, except when someone could get hurt. Then I tell [advisor's name] the same day, and I tell my mentee I'm doing it. 4. Listen more than I talk, and help my mentee find answers instead of giving them all. 5. Never become romantically involved with my mentee, do their schoolwork for them, or lend or borrow money. 6. Keep my attention on my mentee during meetings, not my friends, and remember they're watching how I act around school. 7. In the event that I can no longer participate, I will talk to [advisor's name] first so my mentee gets a proper goodbye. Mentor: ____________________ Date: ________ Advisor: ____________________

Copy the text

C Resources for mentors

Share these with every mentor after training. Each takes ten minutes or less.

• Active listening. A short practice from UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center: paraphrase what you heard, ask questions, and hold off on advice. Active listening (Greater Good in Action) · Listen like a hostage negotiator
• Building the relationship. Search Institute's five parts of a relationship that helps young people grow: show you care, push them to grow, help out, treat them with respect, and open doors. Developmental relationships (Search Institute)
• Being a good mentor. Written for adult mentors, but most of it applies: what to expect, how relationships grow, and what to do when it feels stuck. A guide for new mentors (National Mentoring Resource Center) · Becoming a better mentor (MENTOR)
• Life skills to teach. Time, stress and asking for help, with practice activities for meetings. Managing stress (KidsHealth) · Making homework easier (KidsHealth) · Doorstop Club packet
• If someone is in crisis. Get your advisor or a counselor now. Outside school, call or text 988, any time. 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline

A Sign up the younger students

Use a Google Form with the same questions as the mentor application: name, grade, interests and lunch period. Send it at freshman orientation, through the ninth-grade counselor, and to families.

Message to younger students and their families

New at [school name]? This year every student who signs up gets an upperclassman as a mentor: someone who's been through it and can tell you which teachers to ask for help, how to join clubs and what matters. You'll meet once a week. Sign up open to all freshmen and sophomores: [sign-up form link] The form asks your name, grade, interests, lunch period and, if you want, your gender. Questions? Ask [advisor's name].

Open in emailCopy the text

The matcher

Pick who mentors whom and a format in step 3 first. Until then we match juniors and seniors with freshmen and sophomores, in pairs.

Paste each sign-up sheet from Google Sheets, one person per line: name, grade, interests, free period, gender (gender is optional). Typing by hand? Use commas between columns and semicolons between interests. Write lunch periods the same way on both lists (“lunch A”); the matcher only pairs students who share one.

Match by gender: male mentees with male mentors, female mentees with female mentors. Students who leave gender blank or describe it another way can match with anyone; ask them what they'd prefer.

Names stay in this browser. Nothing you paste here is sent anywhere.

Start with a fun kickoff

• A beach or nature day
• A scavenger hunt around school
• Kahoot in teams of two, mentor and mentee

Have your advisor and one more adult there, and ask the PTA or principal to pay for food. A week before, each mentor texts or calls their mentee to say hi.

The weekly rhythm

• Every week, same time, same place. About 40 minutes: a quick check-in, then half on a planned topic and half on something flexible. See the sample meetings below.
• Walk and talk for private topics. Stress, a hard teacher or anything personal is easier side by side, out of earshot. Let pairs spread out or walk outside on school grounds, where your advisor can see them, and set a time to be back.
• Two adults in the room when many pairs meet together: one runs the activity, one walks around. The peer guidelines recommend it, and it keeps mentors focused.
• A sign-in sheet. Date, who came, what you did. Two missed meetings in a row means the club leader or advisor talks to the mentor that week.
• A monthly mentor huddle with the club leader or advisor (twice in the first month): what's working, what's hard, anything they need to bring up.
• Plan the ending on day one. Put the last meeting on the calendar and make it a celebration. Matches that end early or fade out can leave students worse off than no match.
• Grow your next mentors. This year's freshmen are next year's applicants, and the program keeps going after you graduate.

Sources: MENTOR, Peer Mentoring Supplement, 2020; Grossman & Rhodes, 2002.

What mentors help with all year

Beyond each month's topic, these come up all year. Mentors don't need the answers. They share what worked for them and practice with their mentee.

Life skills

• Asking for help. Freshmen wait too long. Help them write the email to a teacher, or walk them to office hours the first time. How and why to ask for help · Small asks · Asking for an extension
• Managing time. Sit down with their week: classes, practice, work, homework. Break one big assignment into small pieces with dates, and check in next week on how it went. 4 ways to make homework easier (KidsHealth) · Asking to move a test
• Dealing with stress. Ask what's stressing them, then share what works for you: sleep, exercise, a break, talking to someone. If it's more than everyday stress, bring in your advisor or a counselor. 10 ways to manage everyday stress (KidsHealth) · A 10-minute study break

Navigating school

• Choosing classes. Which classes are worth it, which are harder than they look, and how many APs or honors is too many. Go through the course catalog together before sign-ups. Switching teachers or dropping a class
• Difficult teachers. Help them find the root of the problem, then plan what to say and practice it. Don't trash-talk teachers; it gets back to them. Talking to a teacher about a problem · Beef with a teacher · Seeing how a teacher sees you
• Grades. How to read the grade portal, what a final is worth, and what to do about a grade that seems wrong. Grade guides · Appealing a grade
• Getting involved. Bring them to a club, a game or a practice you're part of. One activity can make school feel like theirs. Starting a club
• Knowing their rights. What the school can and can't do, from phones to the bathroom pass. Student rights at school

Sample meetings

Each one is about 40 minutes: half on a planned topic, half on something flexible. Use them as written, or swap the second half for a game from the list below.

• Getting to know each other Talk · 20 minTake turns on six questions that get more personal, from "who would you invite to dinner, anyone alive?" to "what are you proud of that no one at school knows?" The mentor answers first. Anyone can pass. Then · 20 minAgree on two or three group rules, then play a card game like Speed. Questions that help kids make friends (Greater Good)
• Managing time Talk · 20 minDraw your week as a pie: sleep, school, phone, practice, homework, until it adds up to 168 hours. The mentor shows theirs. Pick one change and write it as if-then: "If I open TikTok after dinner, I do one math problem first." Check it next week. Then · 20 minThe marshmallow challenge: 20 sticks of spaghetti, a yard of tape and string, 18 minutes, and the tallest tower with a marshmallow on top wins. Teams that start building early beat teams that plan the whole time. If-then plans with high schoolers (Duckworth et al.) · Marshmallow challenge
• Dealing with stress Talk · 20 minFear in a hat: everyone writes one worry about school on a slip, no names. The mentor reads them first, then each person draws one and reads it aloud as "I…". Mentors say what helped them with each. Freshmen find out everyone has the same worries. In a pair, walk outside and talk instead. Then · 20 minGuess whose song: everyone sends the mentor the song that gets them through a test. Play 20 seconds of each and guess. Start a group playlist with them. Fear in a hat (CYC-Net) · Managing stress (KidsHealth)
• Choosing classes Talk · 20 minOpen the course catalog. The mentor marks the classes that are worth it and the ones harder than they look. The mentee sketches next year's schedule, and the mentor rates it out of 10. Then · 20 minA tier list of electives, clubs or study spots, S to D. Rank alone, then argue it out as a group. Switching teachers or dropping a class
• A difficult teacher Talk · 20 minThe mentee writes one specific thing a teacher did. Find the root issue together and plan what to say with the Teacher Beef guide. Then role-play it: the mentor plays the teacher, first friendly, then busy, then stern. Then · 20 minExact instructions: the mentor plays a robot who does only what they're told, and the mentee talks them through making a sandwich. Vague asks get messy results, with teachers too. Beef with a teacher · Say it to the teacher (club packet)
• Negotiating Talk · 20 minPick something the mentee wants changed: a deadline, a seat, a rule. Plan the ask with the negotiating guide. Then · 20 minThe pizza negotiation from the club packet: one slice, two people, and nobody eats until you agree. Negotiating and the pizza game (club packet)

Games for the flexible half

Borrow games from the library or a game club, or bring a deck of cards. Most of these are one on one, or mentor and mentee as a team against another pair.

Big events

Four or five moments the whole program does together. These are what students remember.

1. AugThe reveal. Pairs or crews meet at the kickoff. Make the reveal a moment: posters, a hunt, a tunnel of cheering mentors. Our Lady Academy in Mississippi has wrapped seniors in wrapping paper, tagged with their freshman's name, since 1976.
2. DecFinals night and good-luck notes. Mentors run a study session by subject, then write every mentee a handwritten good-luck note. At Vista Murrieta High in California, leaders wrote more than 900 and delivered them in English classes.
3. FebCourse-selection night. Upperclassmen tell younger students how hard each class really is. Lexington High's student senate runs one with a rule: talk about the course, not the teacher.
4. MarA field day or crew lunch day. Programs fizzle in March. Tug-of-war, cornhole and kickball, with each crew in its own color.
5. MayThe goodbye. A last meeting where mentors and mentees write each other notes. Mentees also write a letter to next year's freshmen, to read at next year's kickoff.

Sources: Our Lady Academy; Patch, Vista Murrieta; The Musket, Lexington High; Link Crew year timeline.

What flops

• No set time and place. One Pennsylvania school's first try logged about 100 meetings in a year. Once pairs met in the library with the librarian watching, they logged more than 1,000.
• Only the first day. A big orientation and nothing after. One student paper called its school's program "one and done."
• Worksheets and feelings surveys. Teach skills by doing them: send the real email, open the real portal.
• Making anyone perform alone, or share something deep too soon. Always let people pass.
• Food with no plan. Students grab it and leave. Pair food with an activity.
• Anonymous questions read out unscreened. A mentor reads them first.
• Grabbing games without rules, like Spoons or musical chairs. Teenagers get rough.

Sources: ASCD, Spring Grove; The Southerner.

Month by month

A topic for each month gives every meeting a starting point. Check them off as you go.

Need meeting activities? The Doorstop Club packet has one-meeting lessons on emails, negotiating, getting involved and college that mentors can run with a mentee or a crew.

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